With Neptune being a most elusive and nebulous force among planets, you’d be excused for sometimes wishing your Neptunian partner came with instructions. Neptunian individuals (and, by this, I mean those whose chart is Neptune-ruled, or otherwise with several aspects from Neptune to personal planets) often have a hard time coming to terms with their own fluid, multifaceted personal identity; it’s easy to see how this can reverberate on romantic relationships as well, even causing two people to drift apart in the most extreme cases.
However, it doesn’t have to be that way.
A relationship with a Neptunian can definitely work out, and even turn out to be one of the deepest, most fulfilling experiences you’ll ever have. While your influence on your partner’s personal journey of self-discovery may be limited, there are a few useful strategies you can try to gain a better understanding of your significant other, strengthen your bond, and maybe even get in touch with the most sensitive and creative sides of yourself in the process! In this article, we’ll examine four of them: try them out, you won’t be disappointed!
1. Explore non-verbal communication with Neptunians
More often than not, words can seem reductive to a Neptunian person, to the point that we might struggle with conveying the complexity of our feelings through language – something which is, on the contrary, so rational, rigid, compartmentalized. In some instances, when people expect a straightforward, black-or-white answer or description from us, it can make us frustrated – we tend to understand concepts like “clarity” and “exhaustiveness” in a peculiar way, as we tend to experience “reality” in a very relativistic way.
This doesn’t necessarily have to stop you and your partner from communicating successfully: as long as you’re both willing to open up to each other and no one is avoiding critical issues, exploring alternative avenues of communication can be an exciting, creative experience for both of you.
Encourage your partner to express him/herself through visual media, songs, or stream-of-consciousness-style writings, let yourself be guided towards comprehension, and allow your intuition and imagination to be stimulated through the process. You’ll be surprised at how much you can learn about one another just by experimenting with unconventional ways of communicating.
2. Avoid mirroring and projections: ask the right questions
Sometimes, we tend to “mirror” the traits of our partners, or to place their needs above ours; this is mostly done unconsciously, as we’re constantly drawn towards the idea of a fusional relationship that can allow to feel in communion with the other person. Even a fairly self-aware Neptunian can fall into this trap from time to time. This, however, tends to be counterproductive, since it creates imbalance and gives way to confusing dynamics of projection and depersonalization.
Should you notice a similar issue with your Neptunian partner (being mirrored, being idealized or idolized, or even placed on a pedestal), don’t be afraid to address it: it’s nothing that can’t be fixed with a fair amount of cooperation on both parts. It helps to start from within, asking yourself what are you truly acknowledging and appreciating in your partner, and whether or not you’re including the grey areas or taking their identity for granted.
At this point, you will be able to consistently remind your partner that you love and cherish him/her for who he/she is, making sure your words are backed up by facts. Be actively curious and inquiring, show genuine interest in the things your partner values (which may differ a great deal from yours), and make sure both of you get an equal amount of attention in the relationship: this is a great way to re-establish both balance and boundaries, and to exercise your relationship skills.
3. Improve sexual chemistry: adopt a non-judgmental stance
Nowadays, for various reasons, a relaxed, open attitude towards sexuality is something that many of us have to conquer progressively. Dating a Neptunian person can encourage you to do something that is not truly valued in our society (which is, I assume, the root of many sexual issues of our time): exploring your own deepest fantasies and bringing them to life, without feelings of shame.
The tolerant and non-judgmental attitude of your Neptunian partner can turn out to be an invaluable asset when it comes to attaining a healthy, fulfilling level of intimacy, in a trusting atmosphere free of criticism. How? Just suspend your judgment and try to “unlearn” the conditioning you might have experienced in terms of romance and sexuality, making the effort to sort out the parts of yourself that you’d like to explore, from the rest.
And then, don’t be afraid to open up to your Neptunian partner, encouraging reciprocity and mutual understanding. Again, make sure you’re not holding back your imagination, and creativity and get ready to watch your fantasies come alive!
4. And last but not least… the Neptunian in you
In many ways, being in a Neptunian relationship is like standing in front of a mirror: whether they mean it or not, Neptunians are extremely skilled in mirroring back behaviours, attitudes and energies. If you willingly or unwillingly give off a passive-aggressive, arrogant, ambiguous or needy vibe, you can expect to see it mirrored in your partner to some degree.
Being constantly mindful of your thoughts, actions and shadow sides can help you a great deal in discovering what messages and signals you send out to the world, and how are they related to the things you attract.
|Aeterna is an astrologer based in Italy; she blogs and offers consultations at Aeternalight Astrology. A Libra with Cancer rising, she’s passionate about helping individuals and couples address hidden emotional issues, inner dynamics and experiences of transition.|